Dear Abby

Does anyone else read Dear Abby? This article was recently sent in (not by me) and I think the photographer had some good points, especially the part stating that guests don't bring extra flowers and food to supplement the efforts of the other wedding vendors so why do they do this to the photographer...?

I do allow others to take photographs but I request that they don't during formals -- it's my time, energy, talent and creativity setting them up and don't wish for the photo to be duplicated. And I ask that the guests with the cameras physically stay out of my way during the toast, dance, cake cutting, etc. It states all this in my contract.

Most of all, I just wish guests would have fun and put down the camera and enjoy the wedding and reception and not worry about "getting the picture". That's our job.

Here's the article:

DEAR ABBY: The wedding season is approaching, and on behalf of all professional photographers, I'm writing about the rudeness of wedding guests who bring their own cameras to the wedding ceremony. They behave as if they're at a tourist attraction.

Professional photographers honor church rules, and often the wishes of the wedding party, by not "blinding" the bride, the groom or the clergy by taking flash photos during the ceremony.

After the ceremony, when we're trying to set up formal group pictures, these same guests jump in front of us like paparazzi! I've even seen mothers of the bride whip out a camera. Why do people hire a professional photographer and then allow this to happen?

Abby, please inform these people how rude they are. The bride and groom have hired us to capture their wedding on film. If the wedding guests want pictures, they can order them through the bride. Guests do not bring extra flowers or an extra cake to supplement the efforts of the florist and caterer, so why do they do this to the photographer? Our job must be done in a timely manner, and the kind of interference I have described prevents us from doing our best work in the least amount of time. -- MIFFED PRO IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MIFFED: I'm printing your message, but it's not going to be popular. I agree that taking flash pictures during a church service is considered rude, and it can detract from the solemnity of the ceremony.

However, most couples appreciate both the formal photographs and the amateur snapshots. Candid shots caught by amateurs often reflect the personalities of the wedding party and guests better than the formal, posed portraits taken by professionals because the subjects are more relaxed.

P.S. Some photographers avoid the problems you're encountering by taking their formal portraits before the ceremony. If this doesn't work for you, consider bringing an assistant along to help with "crowd control."

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.